There are people who complain about their lives without doing anything about it. That complaining is relief, so it does help a bit. But it is better to improve your living conditions.
That's not easy. Many people try, constantly run into walls and then give up. You then go into survival mode and the hope for a better life disappears. Sometimes that's the best you can do. But in most cases you can do better.
Many people are unhappy with the way they live. Busy environment, people you don't know, neighbors who don't understand you, sometimes also noise. As long as you stay alone, there is usually little you can do about this. If you connect with others, you can improve your fate. Much more is possible with a number of like-minded people. With three to five people you can jointly rent or buy a villa in a beautiful environment. Or you can buy a farmhouse. Those kinds of opportunities arise when you connect with others.
In order to connect with others, you have to transcend your egoism. Many people reject connection with others and then find out that they just can't make it on their own. Humanity is such a successful species because it has learned to live together in large groups. That capacity for cooperation is undermined by living in a city.
In the past people lived in tribes, later in villages. People depended on each other, they helped each other, they had social rights and obligations. Today many people want rights without obligations. This feeds selfishness. People want to take others less and less into account, but they do demand that all others take them into account. Of course that doesn't work.
Suppose you want to live comfortably. Some people are lucky and can rent a nice house for little money and get good neighbors for free. Most people are not that lucky. Cheap living and good neighbors are not guaranteed. If you have not been lucky with your living environment, you need to create a better living environment. Most people can't do it alone. Then it's time to work with like-minded people. Then you need to find like-minded people and connect with them. Then you have to learn to take each other into account. If successful, you can jointly create a living environment that is pleasant for all participants.
I receive many calls from 60+ women via a telephone advice line. Most are alone and very lonely. When I advise them to find a good friend, I mostly get objections. In the course of their lives they have become more and more closed off. They are full of resentment for everything that others have done to them. They trust nothing and no one anymore. Their life is a hopeless hell of loneliness. And no matter what I say, they just aren't willing or able to change.
Presumably 60+ men are just as lonely, but they do not talk about it.
Imagine spending your 60th to 100th birthday in loneliness. Maybe your kids come over for a cup of coffee a few times a year. Those are the highlights of your life. Can you imagine a worse hell?
It is necessary to connect with other people. That takes effort in the beginning. It is not easy to transcend your own selfishness. And when you connect with other people, you will often experience pain from their selfishness. Often you will meet people who hurt you with their selfishness. If you then give up, you will remain in loneliness. If you keep searching, and you transform your own selfishness, there is a good chance that you will become part of a spiritual group that values spiritual growth and love of one another. Then you have found your new 'tribe'.
If you throw a green frog in a pan of hot water, it will jump right out. If you throw it in a pan of cold water, it will stay put. If you put the pan on the fire and heat the water slowly, it just stays put. You can cook him without him noticing. (There are scientists who do these kinds of experiments!)
Are you different from this frog? If someone puts you in a very unpleasant situation, you resist. But if your existing situation slowly but surely deteriorates, will you stay where you are? Even if you are slowly cooked?
Your existing situation is 'your comfort zone'. You feel safe there, because it is familiar. Looking for another situation feels unsafe. We tend to stay in our familiar environment, even if it slowly degenerates and becomes unlivable. The idea of change frightens us.
A good example of this is Beirut during the civil war. That city was constantly bombed and shelled with mortar shells for years by all kinds of fighting groups and by Israel. Yet most people just stayed where they were. If their house was destroyed, they just rebuilt it. For many people, moving was more frightening than staying. Humans are not that much different from green frogs.
Take a critical look at your life. Do you want to live like this? Is your life good for you? Will it get better? Or are you sinking further and further in a terrible swamp?
Are you willing to change? Is it necessary to change? Do you need to overcome your fears and leave your comfort zone? Do you have the willpower to start living a different life? Are you willing to take the risk and change course? Or would you rather let yourself cook slowly?
I know a woman who is oppressed by her husband. She is often depressed and tired. Yet she stays in the relationship, because she is afraid of change. She believes that she cannot stand on her own two feet. In addition, her mother's prejudices hold her back. Instead of taking steps towards a good and loving life, she remains in a desolate situation.
Many people do more or less the same. People are dissatisfied with life, but do not dare to take steps towards a better life. People choose to avoid risks. And many people hope for redemption from without. Maybe next week you will win the lotto and things will get better. Or maybe Jesus will come back to save you. But if Jesus calls you to change, will you dare it then and not now? Maybe the world will end and you'll finally be rid of everything. Many people believe in predictions of doom, because they are basically fed up with their lives.
Your lower self allows itself to be wrapped up by urges and instincts. The urge to survive is very strong. That is not an urge that makes you better. It is an urge that is necessary to pass on your genes. Maybe things will get better for your progeny in the future. But if you don't reproduce or if you have already reproduced, this survival instinct is meaningless.
Your urge to survive is much stronger than your urge to be happy. As a result, you tend to hold on to what you have, as miserable as that may be at times. This was useful for the conservation of the species. It enabled women to remain in an unpleasant situation, promoting safety for posterity. But today this often backfires. Your children will gain little or nothing with it and it is not good for you either. If your current situation is not good for you, listen to the higher part of yourself. Live for your soul and not for your survival instinct. Choose a spiritual life. Choose light and love and leave your comfort zone.
I will illustrate the start of a new life with an example.
You can choose for the Circle of Light and Love. On that site you can place a call to start a Circle of Light and Love in your own environment. You can also use social media to find the people you want.
If you do that, it may happen that no one responds. It is still unknown and many people find that scary. It is also possible that you mainly get the wrong people on your path. People who only suck energy and give nothing. Will you give up then?
Your ego will tell you very quickly that it will be nothing. That you'd better give up, and a little quick. This isn't for you, it's all too much... Yes, your ego can discourage you and get you back in your 'comfort zone'.
The difference between successful people and failures is very small. A successful person makes a plan and keeps trying until he succeeds. A failure gives up after one or a few attempts. Every time you give up, you reinforce your identity of failure. Every time you keep going until you succeed, you reinforce your identity as a successful person. To become a successful person you just have to persevere.
To realize your higher will on earth, is that important to you? Or do you make it as easy as possible for yourself in your 'comfort zone'? Would you rather try to live with your situation, even if that is a pan of water on the fire, in which you are slowly cooked like a green frog? If your willpower isn't greater than a green frog, that's all you can do. But if you're a real human being, you were born for more.
Some people think that wanting is an expression of selfishness. That's a misunderstanding. If the ego wants something, it is an expression of the ego and therefore egoism. When your soul wants something and your ego connects to it, even if it is difficult, that transforms the ego.
In addition, you should remember that your ego is not your enemy. You need a strong ego to live on Earth. The question is, however, who is the boss?
When your ego is in charge, you are tyrannized by your ego. When your soul takes charge and your ego puts itself at the service of your soul, then your ego is a great help.
There is no recipe for happiness, no guarantee that you will be happy. Everything can go well in your life, you can do all the right things right, and then disaster can strike. A child can become terminally ill, your partner can have an accident, a plane can crash at your workplace, ...
There is a recipe for being unhappy. Doing the wrong things right or doing the right things wrong. Accident is almost a guarantee when you do that.
Do you have housing problems:
You can stay where you are, you don't connect with other people, you don't change anything.
Buy and realize a good home with others. Move to a cheaper part of the country. (I myself have moved to the utter north-east of the Netherlands, because we can live there for little money. We now have a large garden with a fruit orchard. Completely unobstructed views at the front and back and no noise or other nuisance.)
If you look creatively at your possibilities, there is usually something to realize.
Are you in an unhappy relationship:
Stay in the relationship (wrong thing) and do everything right in that relationship.
As an alternative:
Free yourself. Become self-reliant. Determine what you really want and go for it.
To do this, you need to overcome fears. And you must subjugate your petty ego to your big-hearted soul.
If you're unhappy, don't sit in the slow-cooking pan. Jump out. Take risks, but use common sense.
The aforementioned woman in an unhappy relationship is not fit for a normal relationship at all. She likes BDSM, is open to group sex and above all wants to be mentally free. An ordinary average relationship makes her unhappy.
We have been given a sexual morality through Moses and Christianity, which is very suitable for a primitive tribe of shepherds, where the law mainly aims at the survival of the tribe. In a modern society, this sexual morality does not work. Jews, Christians and Muslims have the greatest difficulty with a different experience of sexuality. Homosexuality is almost unacceptable. How do these believers view a woman living with three men? I know a witch who lives like this. Suppose: Two women and a man go to town hall together and want to get married. How does the registry office respond? Gay marriage is already so difficult!
There are people with 'deviant' sexual orientation. Homosexuality, bisexuality, transsexuality, polyamory, ...
Some people can't be faithful, want multiple partners. Can these people have a group marriage? Can, for example, five men and five women enter into a group marriage, have sex with each other in all possible combinations and raise the children together? The law offers little guidance in that regard.
Some people are submissive and/or masochistic. There are people who want to be a slave. Other people are dominant and/or sadistic. There are people who want to be master or mistress. These people cannot be happy at all in a traditional relationship.
If you have an average sexuality, you can be happy in an average relationship. If you have a separate sexuality, that road is closed. You can be unhappy in a typical relationship. Or you can take the plunge into the unknown, break with tradition and try out new forms of relationship. Then you have to break with the morality of Moses. Then you have to develop a new morality. That is no guarantee of happiness, but it does offer new growth, new challenges.
There are people with strong views and a big ego. A big ego is different from a strong ego. A big ego is usually accompanied by pettiness. These people want to impose their morals on others. They think they know what is right. The "divine law" corresponds completely to their views. If you do something they disapprove of, you are not clashing with their views, but with divine law. Then you're no good. In their eyes.
If you recognize any of this in yourself, realize that you need to TRANCE-FORM that aspect. Tell yourself that you don't have a patent on wisdom. Allow people to be different.
Before this I wrote about deviant sexual orientation. Does it bother you if your neighbor would live with three men? Would you blame her for that? Or do you just accept her and her men as they are?
If your neighbor has two wives...
If the man next door is a bdsm slave of the woman next door, or vice versa?
If your female neighbors are in a lesbian relationship?
The sexual variations are great. Is your tolerance also great? Or are you petty?
The above applies to all variations in behavior. Does it matter if your neighbors are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Bhudist, Hindu, Pagan, or Atheist?
Do not stop people. Encourage them to go their own way. Give your fellow human beings the space to discover themselves, to become themselves.
Many people are stuck in a tribal or village mentality. Tribal comes from tribe. Tribal struggles can arise between different groups. This is caused by the tribal mentality. To prove that they belong to a certain group, they bark at members of other groups. That confirms the group identity.
Before the Second World War, the tribal mentality was strengthened. Xenophobia was systematically fueled. And to prove that one belonged to the group, one had to bark with the group at foreigners. While doing this one programs the xenophobia in one's own mind. This systematic mental pollution led to fascism and Nazism and to a terrible war.
In recent years we have seen the same pattern. Politicians are active in almost all European countries, who systematically incite tribal struggles. 'Foreigners' must 'integrate'. They have to wear the colors of the tribe, behave like the other members of the tribe and bark at 'strangers'. The tribal mentality is systematically encouraged. This could very well lead to new social disasters: new epidemics of fascism, Nazism, etc. And eventually to a third world war.
You can break free from this tribal mentality. You can become individual. You can do that with a process of individuation. By looking at yourself, analyzing and transforming your norms and values and especially through TRANCE-FORMATION. The Yggdrasil course is a great system for individuation. Learn to stand on your own two feet spiritually, mentally, emotionally, sensually and physically. Develop your own standards and values. It is nice to deviate from your former tribesmen. Do what you like to do. dive in the deep end.
Under the header 'Loneliness' I wrote about finding 'your new tribe'. Before you can really join 'a new tribe' you have to free yourself from instinctive tribal mentality. If you don't, you end up in another old-style tribe. If that is what you are looking for, then it is good. If you have outgrown the old-style tribes, you are ready for something new.
Don't be a green frog that lets itself boil because it doesn't dare to jump out of its comfort zone. Jump out of your pan and become a fully human!
With Light and Love, Andreas Firewolf
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Andreas Firewolf is a shamanic healer. But he does NOT heal your physical body. For physical diseases you should consult a medical professional.
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Materialism is the attachment to possessions, status or wealth. Spiritual materialism is the attachment to spiritual status, attachment to a particular belief. The idea that you are higher because you have a certain faith, or follow a certain spiritual teaching, is an expression of spiritual materialism.
Spiritual materialism is also the use of spiritual means to achieve selfish earthly goals.
Today (2018) there are many non-physical epidemics. One epidemic of madness and/or idiocy is not over and the next is already on its way.
Non-physical epidemics arise from lack of:
There is nothing wrong with the world
The world is changing
How do you save yourself?