Who is Firewolf?

Birth and upbringing

I was born on 28th September 1961 in the Netherlands. My parents were not sane. In 1966 a psychiatrist diagnosed my mother as 'psychotic and unfit to raise children'. My father defied diagnosis, but the psychiatrist stated his believe, that he was more detrimental for me and my siblings than my mother.

In 1969, the state put me in a home for children, run by the state. It was a decent home, with good care and excellent education. In 1972 I was put under the care of my mother. She was still unfit to raise children. It was not pleasant.

I left home at the age of 17 and never returned. A month before I was 18 I got a rental apartment from the state. Here I could find piece and heal myself. It took me a lot of years to repair the damage that had been caused by my parents.

Spiritual training and education

In 1974, just before my 13th birthday, I came in contact with Mazda-znan, some form of Persian yoga. I became a vegetarian and started with yoga breath-exercises and meditation.

I can testify, that it helps you to sanitize, heal and strengthen your mind, body and soul. In the western world many people devote a lot of time to body-building. It would be better if people would start 'mind-building' with the same rigour.

At a Mazda-znan course I met a person, who was member of an ancient order, that claimed to go back to the order of Melchizedek. I became a member of this order and I was trained to become a high priest. This is something that that order has done often in the past centuries. They recruit a young boy, give him an excellent training and then send him into common society to renew spiritual teachings. When the training is complete, they cut all ties with the apprentice. The apprentice only meets old members of the order, that are expected to die quit soon after the training is complete. In this way, the order has avoided persecution throughout the centuries.

When I was 14 or 15 years old I found a book of Paul Brunton 'The Secret Path'. This gave me new insight. In Mazda-znan and in the secret order it is assumed that everyone has a divine spark in his/her heart. This 'god in your heart' can guide you through live if you care to listen to it. Paul Brunton wrote about meditations to establish a permanent connection with this 'god in your heart'. He calls this 'the overself'.

Scientific education

In western society there are many prejudices about spiritual people. We are supposed to be irrational, superstitious and unscientific. I have noticed that most people who use the word "science" do not understand the basic principles of science. 'Science' has become a verbal weapon against everything that goes beyond the physical dimension.

Many people find it difficult to understand that I am a scientific person and a spiritual person. That does not fit in with the image of the world that people create in their minds. Because I do not fit in their minds, it is easier to deny my existence. Someone like me is impossible, so I do not exist, seems to be the attitude of many people in the Netherlands.

When I was in the children's home, I became interested in alchemy and chemistry. I borrowed books from the public library on these subjects. And I was allowed to buy a chemistry box for children and do experiments. I was about eight or nine years old then. When I was with my mother, she was friends with a young couple. The husband of the couple worked in a laboratory. He noticed my interest in chemistry and helped me build a laboratory in the attic. I bought more and more equipment and chemicals. Looking back, it is strange that I was allowed to do this. I was then between 12 and 17 years old. And I worked without any supervision with dangerous chemicals such as concentrated hydrochloric acid, nitric acid, sulfuric acid and sodium hydroxide. There were no alarms from my guardianship association or teachers at school.

I also studied electronics. At that time there were many 'electronics boxes' for young people with all kinds of experiments. I had a lot of fun building analogue radio equipment.

When I was 15 I had it with school. I produced a rebuttal of Einstein and nobody had any idea what I was talking about. (See: Rebuttal of Einstein.) So I decided to train myself. I started a psychology study and continued with physics and chemistry. I read a lot of books about the brain, neurology and endocrinology. Endocrine glands produce hormones that affect the nervous system and our mind. I also studied Freud and Jung. I have tried Adler, but Freud and Adler are mutually exclusive. Then I read a letter from Jung, in which he 'explained' the same patient with Freudian psychology and with Adlerian psychology. Jungian psychology was more suitable for me than Freud, so I dropped Freud. And I combined Jungian psychology with behaviorism and transpersonal psychology.